Surviving Elementary School with Autism

The short version of surviving elementary school for anyone is patience, as it so often is when trying to help someone else. Luckily for all of us, there is a lot more to it than simple patience, and that’s what I’m going to tackle in this article.   My elementary school days were certainly far from perfect. Office referrals, detention, and a colorful array of other punishments were a regular part of my life. On the bright side, I was able to spend most of my time with familiar people, due to the fact that the school I attended very rarely had students leave before graduation.  Unfortunately, that alone was far from enough to relieve the stress and pain from social interactions gone wrong and sensory issues going crazy. I did eventually come across four very clear things that ended up helping me throughout elementary school that I believe you will find most helpful.  

Family Support

Judging by the fact that you are reading this article at all, means that you are more than likely a parent of someone with autism or a student trying to figure stuff out for yourself  (in which case I am super-impressed!). In either case, make sure to lean on family support when things are getting tough. Most of the time, it is family members that provide the most support when things are going poorly and they are likely the ones that will stick around no matter what.

Never underestimate the value of backup. Odds are that family is the best backup anyone can receive. Especially when things are not going well.

For me, my family provided untold help to me as I was going through elementary school. They did stuff ranging all the way from ensuring I had safe places to calm down to defending me when teachers, students, or others would hurt or try to hurt me. That sort of help is not easily forgotten and can be a complete game changer for anyone!

Quiet Space

It should come as no surprise that aspies tend to love quiet spaces. They are glorious havens from the crazy world. Whether the quiet comes from headphones or from a physically isolated place it matters little. So whenever possible, try and find quiet for the autistic in your life (or for yourself as the case may be), as it will save a world of hurt and is, in my opinion, the single easiest way to avoid those notorious outbursts that are caused by all the sensory and emotional stress.

Some quiet time is like watching a show after a long day. It’s a brilliant de-stressor

As for me, I used quiet space whenever I could throughout elementary school to self-regulate. Any time I got really stressed out I would make an effort to zone out by covering my ears and/or my eyes to make everything as quiet as I could. Unfortunately, this very often led to me getting into trouble for not paying attention and thus led to even more stress. Something that worked for me is to ensure the teacher is aware of the situation. If he or she knows what’s up, there is a good chance they will overlook these behaviors. If that doesn’t work, as teachers so often lack such sympathy, go and talk to people with more control over school policy. Luckily, more and more schools recently have become much more accepting of kids with autism.

Hobbies

The ultimate gift and asset of autism, as far as I’m aware, is the autistic mind’s way of fixating on a single topic or detail of something and mastering every aspect of that thing. It is a tremendous way to live in “one’s own little world” when things are getting really hard and as such, I used my hobbies to socialize and to relax extremely regularly throughout elementary school. If there is any hobby or thing that the autistic in your life is very interested in, please encourage it!

When it comes to uniquely autistic, our fixation on topics takes the cake in my book

My hobbies during and around elementary school included coin collecting, learning about the air force, yo-yoing, Pokemon, pinewood derby racing, folding paper into various machines, and doing a host of other things that have almost certainly been long forgotten or short-lived. The point of my listing these things out is to make it abundantly clear that what the autistic brain fixates on can vary dramatically and can be a fantastic source of growing in skill, confidence, and social ability.

Routine

A near-universal rule for us autistics is this: we need routine and we need it to not change unless it really needs to. You might be scoffing at this, knowing that the world just doesn’t work in a way that allows a routine to change so rarely, but it is truly worth the effort to try and avoid any and all changes when possible for the autistic in your life. Truthfully if autistics had their way, there is a good chance that we would eat the same meals for the rest of our lives and participate in our favorite hobbies until the day we die. (I really doubt this is an exaggeration)

Autistics need routine. It’s the lifeblood of our world as it is so essential to ensuring the world makes sense to us.

To this day, routine makes my life magnitudes easier. I can think more clearly, speak more fluently, and plan more wisely when I have a strong routine laid out, and I am certain the same was true during elementary school. Luckily, schools tend to have routine down to a drill with classes and breaks being predetermined by strict schedules. However, if for some reason the schedule does not go as planned and it can be easily remedied, I would strongly recommend trying to reestablish the routine the autistic in your life is used to. If the change cannot be easily remedied, then it will be an opportunity to explain why routine will sometimes be out of anyone’s control. Either way, the autistic in your life grows from the experience.   Thanks for reading/listening to this article! Feel free to send me questions you have about autism to wouldaspie@gmail.com and if you’d like to directly support my work please visit my Patreon page here.