Aspies (those who have Asperger’s Syndrome) are confronted with magnitudes more sensory information than a neurotypical (someone without any neurological abnormalities).
With all five senses cranked up to eleven like this, it helps a lot to have a bit of help along the way. So, with that, I’ll share some of the things I personally use to cope as well as what I’ve heard works for many aspies!
1 – A familiar object
Familiar objects (stuffed animals, a favorite toy, etc.) can be quite calming when the chaos of the world is getting stressful. A familiar object can be just about anything! Once the object of comfort is discovered, bringing it along for the day can be an excellent way to relieve stress!
2 – A trustworthy friend
Someone who can be trusted is worth far more than anything else for finding calm in a stressful situation. That’s why seeking out strong relationships or strengthening existing ones is such a valuable strategy for being more content in a day.
Each and every one of us was designed to socialize with others. Even the hardest days can be improved by the simplest acts on the part of a trusted friend. Never underestimate the value of someone who cares.
3 – A familiar activity
Think a preferred restaurant, a familiar game, or a favorite song. It all boils down to the consistent, the usual, and that which is controllable.
Something familiar and consistent is not scary. And when it’s not scary, it has great potential to bring comfort.
4 – A repetitive sound (Sometimes Echolalia)
Aspies making repetitive sounds are often trying to calm themselves down. Making those noises work because the repetition and consistency of it make the world more familiar and gives the aspie a chance to calm down.
5 – A song on loop
Aspies tend to listen to songs on loop because a beloved song playing again and again is relaxing, as it is familiar. Just as with favorite movies, the repetition and familiarity of re-experiencing something from the past are
6 – A familiar place
A part of the house, a familiar building, or even the slightly different bounce of a family car as it moves along the road are far more comfortable than an unfamiliar version of those places. All of these locations become familiar and are held with great fondness to an aspie.
Sometimes when an aspie is put into a new or otherwise uncomfortable situation there will be some amount annoyance or even distress. The inverse is also true! Familiar places are a great source of comfort to an aspie 🙂
7 – A soothing smell
For me this is mint. For other aspies, this could be just about anything that he or she associates with peace and calm. It could be the smell of a spring day or the faint aroma of old books. When I say it can be just about anything, I mean it, but most of the time the smell ends up being something subtle, as it does not push the senses very hard.
8 – Repetitive movement
Repetitive movement is a good thing for most aspies, even if it can be a touch annoying at times to bystanders. Wringing of the hands, tugging on the ear or hair, and an array of other things are perfect examples of stress relieving repetitive movements. In fact, there is a range of stim toys that are designed to work with this very tendency!
9 – A strong hug
This one is 100% on a case by case basis. Please don’t hug the aspie in your life thinking it will help, without express permission. For this reason, I would recommend talking to him or her about it to see if he or she would like a hug in such situations!
For those who do like hugs, it’s typically really tight ones that do the most good. Personally, I know a tight hug from someone I trust can make a world of difference!
10 – A quiet room
When sensory stuff is stressful, just looking for a quiet place is one of the best solutions! Really, any quiet place tends to work given that it isn’t too bright or smelly.
If I ever find a room that is quiet, it is not uncommon for me to stay there until I feel most of my stress has gone.
11 – A pattern
When things seem out of control, what could be more soothing than a pattern? Something understandable. It can be as simple as a triangle and as complex as a song or pages of code. It doesn’t matter, so long as it makes sense to the aspie.
Patterns bring clarity to chaos more than just about anything, and if you abstract the other 16 points on this post a bit, they are all
12 – Feeling valued by those that count
Being accepted and valued by close friends and family is one of the most fulfilling and energizing feelings in the world!
Feeling valued gives more of a foundation to the world than just about anything else, and I have nothing negative to say about it. I would recommend reminding your aspie how you feel about them. It will mean the world to him or her.
13 – Social breaks
Social breaks are an essential coping mechanism for aspies. When an aspie is overwhelmed by what is going on around him or her it is sometimes not possible to keep interacting with people. Thus, aspies need social breaks from time to time and if at all possible they should be provided those breaks (given they are seeking one).
Tips for social breaks:
It is not cruel to leave the aspie in your life alone if he or she is looking for a social break. As always, talk with him or her and discover what he or she would want you to do in a hypothetical “super stressed” situation. Should you go with them to somewhere quiet or should you allow them to be by themselves for a while? What should you do to help? Do try not to take offense at his or her answer. It is likely to be blunt but is almost certainly not meant to hurt you.
14 – A favorite game
This one is not universal, but it sure is true for me! A video game is a fantastic way for near complete escape from the stress of everyday life for an aspie. And as a result, I go to games on those really hard days quite often. Games provide an environment to heal and regroup from the day.
15 – Consistent food
Having a favorite meal for 365 days in a row is only a slight exaggeration for many aspies (including myself). To illustrate my point, I often have to force myself to eat something else in the interest of having a balanced diet. Having simple and/or consistent food is a nice and familiar.
16 – Something to block sensory inputs
A considerable number of aspies carry items such as sunglasses, earbuds, headphones, and comfortable clothing because it provides help in loud, bright, or otherwise uncomfortable environments.
I personally tend to carry earbuds very frequently, and sunglasses when I’m smart enough to remember to bring them! The help earbuds alone give is worth a ton to me! As such, I would highly recommend looking for some headphones or earbuds that suit your needs ASAP (particularly if you’re an aspie)
17 – Avoiding some areas and events
When all else fails, aspies stay somewhere quiet and familiar. By doing so I both dramatically reduce sensory stress and I give myself the energy to focus on stuff that I care about the most. It’s a pretty good deal!
Thanks for reading! And as always, if you have any questions regarding Asperger’s email me at “wouldaspie@gmail.com” and I’ll try to answer your questions swiftly!